Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Shadows of the Underworld

I walk down the street on a sunny day,

happiness in the air. Suddenly shadows

in the form of little creatures appear on

the ground, flat. They emerge from the

ground, and grasp by arms and legs

with their brutal claws, ripping at my

flesh trying to bring me down, but I fight.

A large, flat, black spot reveals itself slowly

under me, the shadows pulling me into the

black hole. My foot falls through the ground

with a jolt, as if there wasn't ground there,

then my other foot. Then my torso with a

third jolt, soon both my arms are submerged

under the black substance with a fourth jolt.

Finally, with a fifth and final jolt, my head is

forced into the dark, black underworld. Death,

is very close now.

17 comments:

Unknown said...

THIS ONE ROCKS! just good, love the beginning. ", flat," is kinda unneccesary(no spell check), spots generally are seen in 2D...What would a 3D spot look like? a Sphere?

Te ending was kinda Meh though really good till then. Death is close?? something more like "Death permeates the, air? dark? this void sense of nothingness" anything but death is cloe lol still very cool! like mucho awesomeness points me gusta

Emu said...

um, i think 3D yeah about the 3D spot, and if u thought i meant a 3D spot, i didnt...

yeah, u obviously have a much bigger vocabulary than me. thanks 4the tips, can i put the parts u sed and put them in or were u just suggesting?? if i do, i might change it a bit, so yea... thanks anyway ^-^

*-Accey-*

Unknown said...

lol i meant that you didnt need to say flat was all ^^ nvm that lol

you can put in anything you want can't you lol? im not copyrighting anything i say!
(©TheReaper 2008) lol

Emu said...

ok, just wondering cuz sum people get really weird and stupid about that kind of thing. yeah it is stupid but i just wanted to check.

Unknown said...

lol nope

Emu said...

k, so. yea this one was kinda weird...

Unknown said...

its your best, imo not weird at all....

Emu said...

wats imo??

Unknown said...

your kidding right imo-in my opinion

Emu said...

ok, thnx...

Unknown said...

welcome, postmore!!!!!!!!!!!!

Emu said...

ok, agen... wat??

Unknown said...

your welcome

post more things online

clear enough?

Emu said...

oooooooh, cuz there wasnt a space inbetween. ook. and i have these to new ones, i havent really been working on them but... yea ones bout death... its really emo and im just bored and its stupid. and the others bout hell, its stupid and emo 2.

Unknown said...

hey emo is short for emotional no? sadness is an expression too! dont worry about writing morbid or angry things care not what others think of your poetry! poetry is an escape, not a prison! post them please Em

Emu said...

ok, i think I'll do that now, or soon... ok bye, goin to work on it. and the part wen they disappear w/out a trace, i no it dusnt make sense but it fits.

Unknown said...

¡¡¡thanks!!! tell me when you post it k? through email.